COVID has taken its toll on my relationship. My partner and I met a month before COVID started. He is FIFO, and I live in the city. We clicked right away, and his company needed him on location – offshore and overseas. Without thinking about it, he went, and it expanded and expanded and expanded. I love him but feel so far away from him. When he comes home, it’s for a short period, and the,n he’s asked to go offshore for a long period – we need help reconnecting; what should we do? We are desperate for your support!
Unfortunately, you are not alone in this situation.
Thousands of families and relationships were affected by the “COVID schedule”: the normally acceptable schedules that turned into months at a time (and for some, more than a year of distant contact) that put a strain on relationships.
First of all, be comforted in knowing that long-distance relationships can succeed.
Most couples are geographically separated at some point during their relationship.
The good news is that you can do enough to feel connected, even if there is a physical distance between you.
I also want to take a moment to let you know that while the suggestions seem simple, they require effort from both partners. The approaches won’t work if they’re one-sided.
So, here are some suggestions that research states work to keep long-distance relationships on track:
Daily diaries about the things you fell in love with and love about your partner. Then you share what you wrote with your partner the next day – every day! Hang out together while apart. Yes, this means dinners, events, and walks in the park. At least once a week, or as much as you need to, to feel safe in your relationship. Focus on the positive things, even if they are still far away. Again, regular communication about positive things happening for you and sharing as much as possible in each other’s lives is important. Find a way to surprise each other regularly: flowers, surprise delivery dinners, a planned night out for your partner and a good friend. I even had a couple enjoy a long-distance wine tasting together which sounded so much fun! Finally, make a long-term plan to merge your worlds when the time is right. Creating a shared goal of where the relationship goes can help partners feel secure.
Anyone in a long-distance relationship can attest to the underlying heartache of being separated from the person you love or care for.
If you are in a relationship with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you must make a plan to merge your worlds.
Thinking about a wedding, an engagement, a job change, or a move, make sure your plan considers these steps at the right time for both of you.
In the long run, the hope of being together can help you get through the toughest days apart. After all, that little bit of hope can go a long way in helping the one you love not seem so far away.
your dear,
Amanda xx
Amanda Lambros is a sex therapist and relationship coach with nearly two decades of experience who takes pride in her “no bs” approach to solving your problems. She is also a certified speaking professional and has written several books on relationships, health, and business that have sold over 150,000 copies.
